When you wash your hands, use the mirror to make sure that your…

• Hair looks nice
• Teeth are free of any bits from your last meal
• Face is clean
• Clothes are stain-, spot-, dirt-, and rip-free
• Fingernails are clean (don’t need the mirror for that one!)

The practice today is to head straight to a mirror and go through the checklist.  Might as well wash your hands while you’re there!

Washing hands is especially important before a meal or snack and after we have used the bathroom.  That means we will be washing our hands several times a day. When we wash our hands, we are generally in a bathroom in front of a mirror.  While we are there, there are a few things we can do to make sure we are looking our best.

Use the mirror to make sure that your…

• Hair looks nice
• Teeth are free of any bits from your last meal
• Face is clean
• Clothes are stain-, spot-, dirt-, and rip-free
• Fingernails are clean (don’t need the mirror for that one!)

Take care of anything that may need to be done.  Then you are on your way!

•    Picking something out of your teeth
•    Brushing your hair
•    Applying make-up, lipstick is often acceptable to apply in public
•    Getting something out from under your fingernails
•    Checking yourself for bad breath or body odor
•    Adjusting pants or undergarments

While some of these may not seem like a very big deal, some find them rude and offensive to do in public.

Bad Breath Bonus:

Many times we cannot tell when we have body odor or bad breath.  When we keep up with personal hygiene practices daily, we don’t need to worry about it.  But here are a few ways to know if you have bad breath:

Bad Breath Test #1:

Cup both of your hands around your nose and mouth.  Breathe out through your mouth and see how it smells.

Bad Breath Test #2:
Lick the inside of your wrist.  Wait 10 seconds and see if your wrist has an odor.  That odor is the same odor of your breath.

Daily hygiene habits

• Shower or bathe regularly.  People don’t notice when they exude an odor.  I have especially found this true with those who smoke.  They can’t smell the smoke, but those around them can.
• Deodorant can also help prevent body odor.  It is not a substitute for the shower because it doesn’t work too well when body odor is already present.  Put it on after a shower, before there is a body odor problem.
• Change clothing, especially undergarments, daily.
• Brush your teeth twice a day.  It also helps to clean your tongue by brushing it too.  Don’t forget to floss.
• Keep fingernails and toenails trimmed and looking nice and clean. If you wear nail polish, remove it once it starts chipping.
• Wash your hands before eating and after using the restroom.  This prevents the spread of germs and viruses that can cause illness.
• Keep clothing, shoes, socks, backpacks, purses, belts, etc. in good condition, clean and free of rips.

This week we are to talk about personal hygiene.

Personal hygiene involves the things we do to keep ourselves healthy and clean.

There are a couple of reasons personal hygiene is important.

1. Taking care of our bodies helps keep us healthier.
2. Being clean and healthy just feels better.
3. Having a clean and healthy personal appearance helps us put our best selves forward.

Like it or not, people make instant judgments about others when they meet them.  Some of the judgments have to do with how the other person acts, but others have to do with how the person looks…and smells.

It is not about having the perfect nose or the right hair color.  It is about how you keep yourself.

People just tend to steer away from people who are dirty and smell bad.  You may be the most kind, wonderful person in the world, but if your clothes are torn and dirty, your breath smells, your hair is greasy and messy, and your body is dirty and stinky, people may never know how wonderful you are.

I can hear some of you out there saying, “But I am not supposed to care what others think of me.”  And that is true.  We must let our own light shine and be who we are, following our own values and dreams.

But why not just do a few things each day to keep yourself healthy, feel better, and make those around you feel comfortable?

Also, be aware of the messages you intend to send with your look.  Clothing, make-up, and accessories help send our signal to the world of who we are.  Decide the message you want to send and dress accordingly.

We also went over greeting people and making introductions.

For practice this week, practice making introductions using the following scenarios:

1. Introduce your best friend and your grandmother.
2. Introduce your father and your favorite teacher.
3. Introduce your new friend, Alex, to your friends… Jordan, Peyton, Jaden, and Dakota.

Here are just a few more points about meeting and greeting people in a more formal situation…

• If you are sitting behind a table or desk when meeting someone, move from behind the table or desk before continuing with your introductions.
• If you are inside, gentlemen, remove your hats.
• If possible, remove sunglasses during introductions so the other person can see your eyes.

If you run into someone later and have forgotten his or her name, chances are that he or she has forgotten yours as well.  If you offer your name (e.g. “It’s good to see you again.  I’m Pomegranate.”), then they will probably give you their name in return (e.g. “Yes, it is good to see you again, too.  I’m Peaches.”)

If someone is introducing you and seems to have forgotten your name, jump right in and offer it yourself.   We all have a brain-freeze now and again.

We have gone over many guidelines for introducing yourself and others.  While it is great to remember these guidelines, the most important point is to meet and greet people with genuineness and sincerity.

1) Face the person
2) Eye contact
3) Smile
4) Greeting
5) Handshake or nod
6) Lean

But there will be times when you will be making the introductions for people that you know.  There are a few protocols to follow when making these introductions.

• Introduce the younger person to the older one.  For example, if you are introducing your friend, Bob, to your Great Aunt Gertie, you would say, “Great Aunt Gertie, I would like you to meet my friend Bob.”
• Introduce a man to a woman.  This one may sound a little old-fashioned, but you never know who has old-fashioned notions and who doesn’t.  Better safe than inappropriate.  For this one, you would introduce your friend, Bob, to your cousin Jane (e.g. “Jane, this is my friend Bob.  Jane is my cousin.”).
• If you are in a business situation, hierarchy takes precedence over age or gender.  For example, if the president of the company (the young Mr. Patterson) and a new employee (the older Mrs. Whig) are being introduced, the person making the introduction would introduce the new employee to the president by saying, “Mr. Patterson, I would like to introduce you to Mrs. Whig, our newest addition to the accounting department.”
• Use courtesy titles during more formal introductions

Mr. – an abbreviation for Mister – used for a man, married or unmarried
Mrs. – an abbreviation for Mistress, but pronounced “Misses” – used for a married woman
Miss – used for an unmarried woman or young lady
Ms. – pronounced “Miz” – used by women who choose not to make a statement regarding whether they are married or not
Master – used for boys, though not widely used now.

• If the person is a doctor, minister, rabbi, or has another specific title, use his or her title during introductions.

Err on the side of formality. 

Here in the South, children often use first names preceded by the titles “Miss” or “Mr.” when addressing adults (e.g. Mr. Tim or Miss Kim).  In other parts of the country, that would be considered poor taste and adults are addressed by their titles and last names (e.g. Mr. Smith or Mrs. Jones).  If in doubt, use titles and last names (e.g. Mr. Smith or Mrs. Jones).  If the person would rather you call them something else, he or she will let you know.

You can find this common ground in many different ways.  You may have some of the same physical characteristics which can form the basis of getting to know each other better.  You may have common interests.  These are natural ways of building rapport.

If you don’t have this natural rapport, you can use the synchronization technique until you do find those common interests and can build a more natural rapport.

Also be aware of the attitude you are projecting when you are establishing rapport.  It is very difficult to hide your attitude.

For the next few days, look for people having conversations.  Restaurants are great places to do this. See if you can tell if the people having the conversation are synchronized or not.  Do they seem to enjoy each others’ company?  How can you tell?

It is amazing how much you can tell about people just by noticing their body language!

Do you want to be around someone who is angry or rude?  Would you pick this person as your best friend?

What kind of attitude would you look for in a new friend?

List as many as you can.

Here are some we came up with:

cheerful
confident
enthusiastic
enjoyable
excited
friendly
grateful
happy
helpful
interested
joyful
loving
optimistic
warm
welcoming

Did you come up with any more?

What kind of attitude would you stay away from?

List them.

Here are the ones we came up with:

agitated
angry
annoyed
blah
bored
cool
frustrated
impatient
irritated
mean
miserable
mocking
pessimistic
rude
sarcastic

If you expect to make friends or even meet someone and make a favorable impression, choose an attitude from your first “new friend” list and you can’t go wrong.

Synchronization is a little like copying.  But it is subtle and often happens automatically.  You may have seen synchronization when two friends are talking.

Peaches and her friend Persimmon were talking at the kitchen table.  They were both very engrossed in their conversation about 18th century French literature.  Both of them were leaning forward in their seats with their arms folded on the table.  Peaches brushed her hair back from her face.  A few moments later, Persimmon brushed the hair from her face.

Persimmon made a particularly interesting point about Rousseau and sat back in her chair and crossed her legs.  A few moments later, Peaches sat back in her chair and crossed her legs.

Peaches and Persimmon are synchronized.  Their energies are matching each other in their conversation and their movements and actions are automatically matching also.

Have you ever found yourself copying someone without thinking about it or found someone copying you?  It is not really that you were copying him or her, you were just synchronized.

Having the same motions, stance, and tone of voice is another way the people feel alike.

If you are having trouble having a natural rapport with someone, you can try synchronizing their motions or tone of voice without being too obvious about it.  Even breathing at the same pace can help with synchronization.

You are not trying to be someone else; you are just trying to use synchronization to build a good rapport, get “in sync” with the other person, and get the relationship off to a good start.

Remember: People like people who are like themselves.

Natural rapport is when someone recognizes you as someone who is like them.

Physical characteristics are an obvious way that you can be like someone else. Maybe you have the same skin, hair, or eye color. Maybe you are both girls about the same age. Maybe you are wearing the same purple pants with pink polka dots.

But, there are many ways people are alike.

People can enjoy the same books, music, or games. They may have the same belief system through a church or other organization. They may live in the same neighborhood. They may have the same hobbies, such as knitting, model building, or speaking Swahili.

In what ways are you like your friends?

Really, people are all the same. We all are sad when we are hurt and happy when we are loved. But it is easier to build rapport when you find something specific in common.

What are some of the things you enjoy that you would like to share with a friend?