This week we are going to discuss conflict. When there is conflict, people are not getting what they want and possibly need. 

Conflict can show itself as a disagreement, a squabble, or an all-out fight.

Conflict can also show itself as two people working out their differences calmly and with mutual respect.

You get to choose which way you want to do it.

One helpful way to keep the conflict calm is through “yes” energy.

When there is a conflict, there is “yes” energy and there is “no” energy.  “Yes” energy keeps the energy moving and “no” energy makes everyone stop in their tracks and take a defensive stance.

So how do you keep the “yes” energy moving?  Find points on which you agree.  Get the other person saying “Yes.”

As you find points on which you agree, the points on which you disagree may not turn out to be that big of a deal.  Of course, that is not always the case.  But keeping the “yes” energy moving will keep the discussion calm and moving forward.

A key point to remember when there is conflict is this…

No one thinks they are wrong and no one can change someone else’s mind. 

Everyone has an ego.  The job of the ego is to protect you from feeling powerless or inferior.  When you attack someone’s ideas, even if they really are truly wrong, the ego will step in and defend those ideas, even if the reasons don’t seem to make any sense.  No amount of talking, yelling, or reasoning will make the ego back down.  You cannot change someone else’s mind.  The only thing you can do is present your case, provide you facts or ideas, and then let them make their own choices and decisions.