As we said before, listening is not always easy.  There are many distractions and many thoughts that can run through our minds as we are trying to be fully present with the other person.

Thinking ahead – This is when you are thinking about what you are going to say next instead of listening.  Instead of thinking about what you are going to say next, just stay present with the person.  When it is your time to do the talking again, what you want to say will pop into your mind.  When you focus on what you want to say next you either stop listening or get frustrated because you forgot what you were going to say.

Thinking behind – When the person speaking moves on to a different subject, move with them.  Thinking behind means you are still thinking about what the person was talking about a few minutes ago, and you are missing the current discussion.

Judgment – This is when you start having debates in your mind about whether the other person is right or wrong.  Again, this is taking you out of the current conversation and the present moment.

Physical distraction – Somebody you know walks by, there is food in the talker’s teeth, people in another part of the room start laughing.  These are all physical distractions that may take you away from the conversation.  Sometimes they are difficult to ignore, but that is part of active listening.

Impatience – Sometimes you may be busy or just not have time for a conversation.  The topic being discussed may also be boring.  Both of these instances can lead to impatience.  But the truth is, it is better to end a conversation that you cannot fully be present with than to pretend to listen or rush the other person.  Just graciously and kindly end the conversation.