How can you tell if someone is listening…really listening?  Here are some clues.

1. Eye contact – Is the other person looking at you?  Looking around the room, at a watch, or off into space are clues that someone is not listening.
2. Follow-up questions – What does the person say after you have finished talking?  If you are telling them about your camping trip and then during a pause they tell you about the basketball game they were in last night, they were probably not really listening.  When someone is really listening to a story about a camping trip, they will probably ask follow-up questions…What kind of wildlife did you see?  Where are your favorite camping spots?  Have you ever seen any bears?
3. Listening gestures – Have you ever talked to someone who just looked at you with a blank stare?  It can be a little unnerving.  A listener’s facial expression, a smile, raised eyebrows, or a nod can tell you if they are listening as they respond to what you say.

But also be aware that people generally just know if you are listening or not.  Trying to fake listening can be difficult.  You still have to follow along with what is being said and respond appropriately.  If not, you’ll find that the other person has stopped talking and waiting for you to respond, and you don’t know how to respond…busted for not listening.