A technique you can use to help establish rapport when it doesn’t seem to be happening automatically is synchronization.

Synchronization is a little like copying.  But it is subtle and often happens automatically.  You may have seen synchronization when two friends are talking.

Peaches and her friend Persimmon were talking at the kitchen table.  They were both very engrossed in their conversation about 18th century French literature.  Both of them were leaning forward in their seats with their arms folded on the table.  Peaches brushed her hair back from her face.  A few moments later, Persimmon brushed the hair from her face.

Persimmon made a particularly interesting point about Rousseau and sat back in her chair and crossed her legs.  A few moments later, Peaches sat back in her chair and crossed her legs.

Peaches and Persimmon are synchronized.  Their energies are matching each other in their conversation and their movements and actions are automatically matching also.

Have you ever found yourself copying someone without thinking about it or found someone copying you?  It is not really that you were copying him or her, you were just synchronized.

Having the same motions, stance, and tone of voice is another way the people feel alike.

If you are having trouble having a natural rapport with someone, you can try synchronizing their motions or tone of voice without being too obvious about it.  Even breathing at the same pace can help with synchronization.

You are not trying to be someone else; you are just trying to use synchronization to build a good rapport, get “in sync” with the other person, and get the relationship off to a good start.